The first few weeks of teaching were rough. I made fine connections with the kids, but what would be deemed as ‘my classroom management’ wasn’t happening for me. I was so very confused. I’ve never struggled with management before. I went to my internship seminar and was reminded about how much is expect from me. I shared with my Middle Years peers my fears and they too could not understand me struggling in this area. Heck, my coop was worried. I was worried. Inside I wondered if the dream of teaching and learning alongside kids was possible, ‘Give up, go be a social worker.’ But the internship seminar also reminded me to relax… that weekend I went home and my mom gave me the Keys to the Kingdom.
“Cori, you know how to deal with Jessy Lee right?”
“You know how to handle her friends, right?”
“Are you ever hesitant or nervous when you’re parenting?” I looked sideways at my mom and breathed in very deeply.
That was it.
I can’t be two different people. The trying to separate has never worked for me. I am just no good at pretending. And the kids picked up on it. I went back the next day and walked into the classroom as cori. The kids and I breathed a sigh of relief and I’ve not looked back. After my first lesson I asked Angus what he thought, he remarked, “You were totally different, ya, ya, I don’t know what you did…”
They are all my kids :) And now, phew, we are happily sharing stories, giving hugs, and laughing together…